The Radical Act of Acceptance

Cyrus Veyssi and their dad show the possibility of a loving future for queer youth

Cyrus Veyssi is an Iranian-American, non-binary beauty influencer known for their radiant skin, vibrant personality, and hilarious takedowns of stereotypical bros and dating advice. But as Veyssi’s following has grown, they’ve also become a target for nasty online comments—one of which triggered a lightbulb moment.

As Veyssi shared with the crowd at Free Future 2023, one day they came across a comment which said, “You’re Iranian, you’re queer, you’re non-binary? Your parents must be so disappointed in you.” Upon receiving that, Veyssi recalled thinking, “Oh my God, perfect opportunity to bring my wonderful parents who supported me into this conversation.” And thus, the internet was introduced to Baba. 

Since then, some of Veyssi’s most entertaining videos have been hilarious back-and-forths with their father—from lip-syncing songs to clapping back at homophobes. A personal favorite is this one, in which Veyssi asks their dad, “What’s your favorite thing about the fact that I’m non-binary?” and a deadpan Baba responds, “You never do the dishes.” Even unconditional parental love has its limits, and that limit is chores. 

Veyssi’s content displays a beautiful reality that research suggests not many queer youth experience—especially those who are Middle Eastern or North African (MENA). According to a 2022 survey conducted by The Trevor Project, queer MENA youth in the United States had the second-highest suicide attempt rates across all racial groups that year, behind Native Americans. Queer MENA youth also experienced some of the highest rates of anxiety and depression.

And around the world, political oppression creates additional hostility for queer youth. Just last month, Uganda’s highest court upheld anti-homosexuality laws, making queer identity an offense punishable by death. LGBTQ+ people are criminalized entirely in a majority of countries in the Middle East and North Africa, as well as some areas of the Caribbean and Pacific Islands like Guyana, Tonga, Jamaica, and Samoa.

Against this backdrop, familial acceptance makes a huge difference. A separate study by The Trevor Project found that even in the U.S., only 51% of non-binary or gender non-conforming youth and 52% of cis-gendered lesbian, gay, or bisexual youth said that their parents supported their gender expression. But talking, especially about gender identity, matters: Youth who had parents or guardians who spoke openly with them about their identity were almost 10% less likely to attempt suicide. 

All of that helps motivate Veyssi to share their loving, accepting Baba with those who do not have one themselves. “While I have a wonderful relationship with my parents,” they say, “so many folks, specifically Iranians, Middle Easterners, folks of color, don’t have those similar experiences.”

But thanks to Veyssi, young people can see a glimmer of hope in a father's limitless love for their child…even if they don’t wash the dishes.

You can watch Cyrus Veyssi on stage at Free Future 2023  in conversation with writer Jessica Valenti and IWMF Executive Director Elisa Lees Muñoz here. (Their session begins at 2:00.)